How I Kept My Own Daughter Out of the NICU (and How You Can Help Your Clients Do the Same)
Me and my first daughter just after delivery.
As a NICU nurse, I knew all the signs to look for and the medical jargon to navigate. But when my own daughter's birth took an unexpected turn, I found myself on the other side of the bedrails—vulnerable, scared, and uncertain about what was next. My story isn't about avoiding the NICU altogether (because we all know sometimes it's the best and safest place for babies), but about how understanding the NICU helped me advocate for a different outcome for my own family.
My water broke unexpectedly during my 40 week prenatal appointment with my midwife and after waiting a while at home (and doing all of the moves), my contractions were not starting. I decided to go to the hospital for monitoring and then after 12+ hours with no sign of labor I decided to go ahead with a induction.
Labor was progressing smoothly until shift change (of course ) when my daughter started having clear decelerations and the conversation quickly shifted to the possibility of a c-section. My doula and I worked together to assess the options, and she gave me the support I needed to make a decision I felt empowered by (more on that another time).
But after a vaginal delivery, just when I thought the hard part was over, an overzealous pediatrician swooped in, insistent that my daughter be taken to the NICU for monitoring due to chorioamnionitis and concerns that she was too cold.
In that moment, despite having an amazing doula by my side, I found myself having to “doula myself.” As much as my doula wanted to help, she didn't have the knowledge or experience to guide me through the NICU-related decisions. But with my background as a NICU nurse, I knew what I was capable of. I understood the risks and protocols, and I was able to advocate for an alternative plan that allowed my daughter to stay with me in postpartum recovery instead of being whisked off to the NICU. It was a small victory, but one that made all the difference. We avoided the separation, the interruption of breastfeeding, and the anxiety that comes from having your newborn in a separate unit—simply because I knew how to "speak NICU."
The reality is that many babies need the NICU, and in those cases, it's a life-saving necessity. But wouldn't it be powerful if, as doulas, we could help parents navigate these situations from a place of empowered decision-making, rather than fear?
You already know how to help your clients advocate for their dream birth, but when the NICU becomes part of the story, it can feel out of your scope. You might feel that pit in your stomach, knowing you want to offer support but aren't quite sure what to say or how to guide them through those tough moments.
That's exactly why I created Navigating the NICU for Doulas—to give doulas the evidence-based knowledge and tools they need to support families fully, no matter the outcome. I want you to feel as confident supporting families facing the NICU as you do in the delivery room or supporting them at home. With this training, you'll learn how to bridge that gap, ensuring your clients feel seen, heard, and empowered in their NICU decisions.
Don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from being the best support possible.
Join me for the next session of Navigating the NICU for Doulas: Supporting Families Before, During and After a NICU Stay and start supporting your clients with confidence, no matter where their journey takes them.
