6 Things You Should Do to Get the Most Out of Every Medical Appointment
A 15 minute blur where you leave feeling more confused than before.
This is often what I hear from families after they come back from an appointment with a healthcare provider.
You made the appointment hopeful that you would get a clear path for how to improve or resolve the negative symptoms you or your baby are having. But the appointment ends up being a few quick minutes of assessment, a brief plan "to watch and wait" and then the provider asking, "Do you have any questions for me?"
Does this sound familiar?
The truth is that the healthcare system in our country is filled with good people with good intentions that are trying to provide care within a structure that prioritizes efficiency and profit margins over individualized care.
As one of those good people stuck within this broken system, my decade of experience as a bedside nurse has taught me invaluable lessons of how to confidently navigate the medical system to be heard and get answers for the concerns you are experiencing.
It comes down to understanding the specific problem you want addressed in each visit and formulating the specific questions you need to ask.
I know parents of NICU babies want to be able to confidently advocate for their baby, get their questions answered and to work with your provider to create a care plan that works for you and your family.
Here are 6 things you should to get the most out of every medical appointment:
#1 What is your goal for the visit?
What is the key problem/issue you would like to address?
Reflux? Symptom management? Meeting milestones? General growth?
Have one primary must-be-addressed goal in your head and possibly 1-2 would-be-nice to address goals in mind
This way you can take ownership over the direction of the appointment and not feel disappointed or frustrated after you leave that you did not get your concerns addressed
#2 Do your research
If you can, have a basic understanding of the disease process to understand what concerns to bring up
Helpful sites include: Cincinnati Children’s Health Library and KidsHealth.org
#3 Write down your questions beforehand
Even if you think you know, write down each question (preferably full out) in the notes app on your phone (that way you won't have to worry about forgetting a notebook or piece of paper)
Instead of writing "reflux" write: "What can I do to help decrease the frequency of spitting up?
Having the full question will give your brain a break so you don't have to figure out what you meant by something you wrote before while in the middle of a rushed appointment
#4 Have data easily available
If you can, have a log of your baby's basics that you can reference during the appointment
Helpful data includes frequency and consistency of pee/poop, timing and volume of feeds, spit ups and when they are timed/what happened before or after, medications and other symptoms unique to your baby
This gives you concrete data that can help drive action from your medical provider
I prefer to use an app for tracking (Huckleberry is my favorite), but a notebook or printed log can work too
Note: it can be easy to get "caught up in the numbers" just like families can be in the NICU. Track only what is most relevant to YOUR baby and the concerns that you want addressed
#5 When discussing options with your provider use the B.R.A.I.N. acronym
Benefits: What are the benefits of the particular diagnostic test, pain management approach, medication, procedure, protocol, etc. being considered? This is an important question to ask in today’s healthcare climate, where so many choices are available. Other questions might include: What problem will this solve? How will this be helpful? If a test suggests a problem, how serious is it? If a treatment is suggested: How is it usually done?
Risks: What are the risks of a given test, procedure, protocol etc? What are the risks relative to the benefits? Are there any side effects? What sources of information do you suggest I use to inform myself about this issue? If this is not successful, what is the next step?
Alternatives: What other approaches might be taken? Teasing out potential options helps us to identify alternatives that fit with our particular circumstances, so that we feel empowered, rather than pressured, in the decisions we make. If alternatives are available, go through the BRAIN acronym for each one offered.
Information/Intuition: What other information do you need to make a decision? What does my gut say about a particular test/procedure/intervention/protocol? Intuition is an important and often overlooked piece of information: taking the time to listen deeply for what our intuition is telling us guides us toward decisions that are rooted in our own values and experience. Including intuition in your decision-making process leads to decisions that have an internally derived logic, integrity, and authority.
Nothing: What would happen if I do nothing? Other questions might include: What would happen if we wait an hour? A day? A week? You might apply the first part of the BRAIN acronym to doing nothing: What are the benefits of doing nothing? What are the risks? What are the alternatives? What does my intuition tell me?
#6 If you are feeling dismissed or not heard by a provider, you have every right to (and should!) ask for a second opinion
It can feel awkward, but you deserve to feel comfortable and confident in the plan of care. Try…
"I respect and value your opinion, thank you. We are trying to gather all of the information we can to make sure we are best informed. Do you have any other colleagues you recommend who we can also speak to about ____?"
"I trust you and appreciate your help so far. But this is so new to me and I feel like a second opinion could help me make sense of everything."
"I really respect your opinion, but I never make any decision without talking to multiple experts.”
NICU families are some of the most formidable and gritty people I have ever met. They are thrown into one of the most intense and stressful situations a new parent can face and they navigate it with grace, strength and love. They are brave, compassionate, resourceful and above all fierce advocates for their sweet babies.
If anyone can handle navigating life at home with a NICU baby, it is you. I have no doubt that you *can* do it. But you don't have to do it alone.
During 1:1 coaching sessions I can help prepare you for your upcoming medical appointments by empowering you with knowledge, creating custom educational resources and helping you to formulate your questions so you feel fully confident and empowered to advocate for your baby during each and every medical appointment.
Book a free 30-minute discharge prep call here to learn more about my services and support packages. Or if you are ready to get started, your can book a full 90-minute Introductory Session here.
